Someone once said that we don’t communicate well enough. There may be many reasons for that: the wrong choice of words, being unclear about what we really mean, or because we are trying to imply something we hope you get but we really don’t know want to say.

By rephrasing the words back to the speaker, we can clear up many of our communications. This can be done with your spouse, children, coworkers or even your boss.

Rephrasing is to say back to the person, in your own words, what they said. “What I hear you saying is…..”

Example:

“What’s for dinner?”

“We were going to have chicken, but I forgot to thaw it out, and I have been so busy today I hadn’t even thought about it.”

“So are you wanting to go out for supper?”

“Would you mind?”

Here is another example:  The salesman writes up a repair order on two of his products sitting in a wholesaler’s warehouse. His company sends the repair order to an independent repair contractor. The contractor sees that one unit is a warranty repair and one has been damaged, probably by the wholesaler’s warehousemen. The repairman calls the manufacturer and the manufacturer agrees to pay for the one unit with the defect but refuses to pay for the other damaged one.

During the repair the salesman shows up and says to the repairman.

“You are new at this aren’t you? I would hate to lose an account like this as I only have two. Don’t let little “technicalities” cause us to lose this account. This time I will pay for the non-warranty repair.”

Rephrasing: “So what I hear you saying is that no matter what is wrong with the units, you want me to write up the invoice to the manufacturer to show that these are all warranty repairs. Is that right?”

If he says, “yes”, now you know he wants you to lie. You can:

1. Just end the conversation without confirming that you will do that and next time it happens, mention to the manufacturer what you have been instructed to do by their salesman.
2. Let him know that you will only bill warranty repairs to the manufacturer, and if he wants to pay for all the others, you will call him each time to confirm his continued willingness to pay.

Rephrasing can clear up many situations. It can help straighten out fuzzy thinking, help use the right words, make things clearer and at times keep you out of trouble.

Communicating well is part of The Prosperous Life.

How has this practice been of benefit to you?